Category: Stories

Weird Al Story

Bob, The Saga Begins when I was being a Cough Potato while watching Jerry Springer, The Brady Bunch, and Jurassic Park on Frank’s 2000″ TV, by Syndicated Inc., because I was too Fat to go to The Hardware Store and get Another Tattoo due to the need to have Another One Rides The Bus, Ricky. Also because I had some Lasagna, My Bolagna sandwich and I love Rocky Road. I decided to watch Skipper Dan from Forrest Gump but Since You’ve Been Gone I wanted to watch TMZ while waiting to hear your Ringtone so I could wish you a Happy Birthday, but Melanie You Don’t Love Me Anymore. You said I’m So Sick Of You, You’re Pitiful because I Want A New Duck. I just Wann B ur Lovr, but My Baby’s In Love With Eddie Vedder. Which is why I was Callin’ in Sick today. To keep myself occupied during the commercials I make Phony Calls. Do I Creep You Out?

I realized that I needed to check Ebay and Craigslist to let the sellers know that the Check’s In The Mail for my auction, The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota. It’s being shipped from Albequerque. I also ordered some Polkas on 45s too. I read an email titled Confessions Part III that said I’ll Sue Ya Mr. Popeii because Everything You Know is Wrong and It’s All About The Pentiums, why not Download This Song. I knew it was spam because I got a Virus Alert. It was taking so long I thought One More Minute. I noticed that I was hungry and since I’m Addicted to Spuds I ate. It’s almost like Livin’ In The Fridge.

Like a Surgeon does, Bob is Living With a Hernia. He used to be Such a Groovy Guy and the King of Suede, but now he has to sing the Bedrock Anthem, the Angry White Boy Polka, and as well an Ode To A Super Hero with Homer & Marge. It’s A Complicated Song. He’s gonna Party at the Leper Colony while attending the Circus Parade, I mean He’s Pretty Fly for a Rabbi. Don’t Forget He’s White & Nerdy. It beats having a Party In The CIA though.

Dare To Be Stupid you Canadian Idiot, I Remember Larry, it was The Night that Santa Went Crazy. Man those were the Good Old Days. Now I’ve Gotta Boogie because it’s a Dog Eat Dog World and I gotta go read Your Horoscope for Today because it’s Weasel Stompin’ Day.

Billy Joel Story

Only the Good Die Young, with Scenes from an Italian restaurant, as told by the Angry Young Man who wished of Street Life Serenades, but only heard the Piano Man, The Entertainer, who was singing about an Uptown Girl. He does it All for Leyna, but Don’t Ask Me Why he wondered about why We didn’t start the Fire 2000 Years ago. Hey, we’re all Running on Ice, and maybe it’s time that we start Movin’ Out to Allentown. Perhaps This is the Time that I’m just living in a River of Dreams, maybe I’ll Tell Her About It. How I Loved These Days in Vienna, but It’s Still Rock and Roll to me.

You know Sometime’s A Fantasy about a Modern Woman named Laura, because She’s Always on Time, is all we need to make sure we are Keeping the Faith, but Honesty is always the best Lullabye. Captain Jack, You May Be Right, Everybody has a Dream of living in a New York State of Mind where you can get Easy Money and be the Big Man on Mulberry Street, own Baby Grands while wearing a Root Beer Rag. Hey Girl, Miami 2017 That’s Not Her Style, She’s Always a Woman, a Modern Woman . Until Tonight it was the Downeaster Alexa in Leningrad.

I could use a Big Shot for A Hard Day’s Night. Instead, I’ll Cry over a Ballad of Billy The Kid, which was sung Back in The U.S.S.R. I’d like to Make You Feel My Love, but I’m not the Innocent Man that The Stranger claims. So let’s Leave A Tender Moment Alone because it’s Christmas in Fallujah. And So It Goes we need a Room of Our Own on 52nd Street. It’s 4 O’Clock in the Morning and I’m All Shook Up after looking into Rosalinda’s Eyes, which were Shades of Grey. Between Her and the Stilettos, She’s Got A Way. But The Night is Still Young This Summer, Highland Falls is getting a Piano Bar Somewhere Along the Line. I don’t like Surprises, but the Times They Are A Changin’ and I’m not sure of the Great Wall of China and Mexican Connection.

There are my Famous Last Words, before I say Goodnight Saigon, I must say Goodbye to Hollywood, but do you know what James, It’s My Life and I’m not going to take the Pressure For The Longest Time. Why, because Tomorrow is Today and we’ve Got to Begin Again because You’re Only Human.

Daily Run Down 10/21/2010

Here is today’s Daily Run Down.

  • The Founder of Penthouse, Bob Guccione, has died.
  • A study has found that women give more to charities than men.
  • Toyota has recalled 1.53 Million vehicles due to brake fluid and fuel pump issues.
  • Oak Brook Police are looking to fire the son of Drew Peterson.
  • A Saudi prince has been sentenced to 20 years in prison.
  • Clearwire LTE has passed 90Mbps in a test in Phoenix.
  • Ebay relies on Paypal for 37% of it’s revenue.
  • Microsoft has renamed Xbox Live Silver to Xbox Live Free.
  • Netflix has re-iterated that a streaming-only option could come this year.
  • Wired has an interesting article on how The Allies used math against German tanks.
  • Jammie Thomas’ third P2P trial looms while the RIAA is complaining about the cost.
  • 131 Years ago today, Edison finally worked out his electricity idea.
  • A new study shows that the brains of new Moms grow.
  • Microsoft is reporting 240 Million copies of Windows 7 have been sold in the first year.
  • Meteors from Halley’s Comet may show skywatchers a spectacle.
  • A tumor magnet hopes to help doctors spot cancer.
  • A New Wii Bundle will be available On November 7th, in Red.
  • A Moon crash has stirred up ice, silver and mercury.
  • The world’s Largest Pumpkin of 2010 has been weighed.

Look for more stories tomorrow. If an important story has been missed please leave it in the comments.

Daily Run Down 10/20/2010

Here is today’s Daily Run Down.

  • The US Federal government has been forced to admit that it is legal to take pictures of federal buildings.
  • Apple’s Own website has outted a couple new products.
  • Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has been hospitalized.
  • A federal judge has affirmed her decision on ‘Don’t ask, Don’t Tell’.
  • Republicans are complete idiots. See why.
  • In the ‘No Shit’ department, Binge Drinking and Pot may harm teen brains.
  • A huge alien planet has a large spot.
  • UFOs have supposedly been explained.
  • Intel is planning on spending up to $8 Billion on U.S. factory upgrades.
  • 30,000 Year old flour find suggests that ‘cavemen’ craved carbs.
  • Spots and Stripes tell of an odyssey for the Big cats.
  • Swiss archeologist have found a 5,000 year old door.
  • Chrysler is recalling about 27.000 vehicles for faulty power steering pressure hose.
  • 2 million strollers are being recalled by Graco.
  • New York courts are now enforcing new foreclosure rules.
  • Apple has unveiled some new items including a redesigned MacBook Air and iLife ’11..
  • Electronics arts has purchased Chillingo, the Angry Birds publisher.

Look for more stories tomorrow. If an important story has been missed please leave it in the comments.